Jargon to make you LOL

Those of us in the contracting business have had to become quite good at adopting a sense of humour in the face of frustration and just getting the job done.  The construction industry in SA is particularly unique – we use so much jargon it’s almost like we have developed our own language! If you’ve ever struggled to understand us, here’s a handy list to guide you through the ‘actual’ definitions of what we’re talking about…

Sub-contractor: A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal
Tender Submission: A poker game in which the losing hand wins
Tender Sum: A wild guess carried out to two decimal places
Successful Tenderer: A contractor who is wondering what the hell he left out
Architect’s Estimate: The cost of construction in heaven
Architect’s Bill:
The cost of construction in hell
Management Contract: The technique of losing your %!*#under control
Completion Date: The point from which liquidated damages begin
Quantity Surveyors: People who go in after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded
Lawyers: People who go in after the Quantity Surveyors and strip the bodies
So now you know, if you ever hear a builder say they’re off to talk to a gambler about a poker game or they’re going to contact their lawyer, run the other way!